girlboymusic asked: Fuck your beard, talk to me about your suspenders.
Eliding the first clause as a physical impossibility…. I was just thinking today that I really should have a pair of suspenders for every pair of trousers I own, already buttoned in and ready to go so I don’t have to spend five minutes every morning prepping my pants before I put them on, two legs at a time. (That’s right; I sit on the side of my bed when I put my pants on. Never thought of that, did you, coach?) But since I only have the one pair for now, they’re solid black with leather buttonhooks and with gold clasps for adjusting the length high up on my chest because I got them at the Big & Tall store and they’re made for giants. And now you know as much about them as I do.
