Okay real quick
I consider myself a depression lifer. I find it very hard to believe that there will ever be a time that depression is not a factor in my life at all, not even as a dormant tendency. Is this just a depression-induced “feeling of hopelessness”? Because I don’t feel particularly down about it. Often it’s just something I have to keep an eye on, like someone with diabetes remembering to take insulin and not go too long without eating. It’s in my life and it can be more or less prominent, depending on a host of factors.
I see all this language, though (in meatspace, not here), about recovering from it, ending it, moving on from this unfortunate part of your life forever (barring any “relapses,” of course) and all I can think is, “Really? Is that the way to frame a brain-chemistry problem with genetic causes?”
What bothers me is not how self-help’y it gets — corny self-help’y stuff can be really effective at helping people manage their shit and stay more or less functional. Even happy! That doesn’t bother me.
What bothers me is the suggestion that you will ever slay that dragon once and for all, and go on to be A Normal. That does not ring true to me, not even a little, and every time I hear it I think it’s willfully naive and possibly even setting people up for failure.
In my experience episodes end, but the imbalance doesn’t. You just do the best you can. Granted, I’ve had multiple depressive episodes over the last decade, and my mother has a chronic case with ups and downs as well. Maybe it works differently for people like us, for whom it’s so deeply ingrained, than for people who are hitting an unusual rough patch that’s manifesting as clinical depression. I mean no disrespect; this does not diminish the horror of what they’re going through, not one bit.
I just wonder if well-intentioned clinicians prefer the cheerier language of “beating this thing for good!” rather than “managing it so you can have a good, fulfilling life regardless,” without realizing how unrealistic and hollow that is for some of their audience.
