Exist Yesterday.

I didn’t until you asked!

First impression: is this a Lonely Island song, except they forgot to put in any jokes?

Aww, I wasn’t trolling for sympathy messages! (Yes I was.)

But thanks.

✿ I usually grow a beard in the fall and shave it in the spring. Every year there are more white hairs on my chin than last year.

♥ On the bright side, sometimes I’m the one who has to let someone else down gently.

• Every ten years I add another half-dozen interests. It’s getting hard to keep track of them all.

♛ I’ve been unfollowed by some real Tumblr heavy hitters.

☮ I have, at various times, diagnosed myself with low levels of Asperger’s syndrome, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and bipolar disorder. But if I have low-level everything, that’s probably just being alive. (Apologies to people I’ve made that joke to before.)

✿ I have deep blue eyes that are actually pretty startling when I open them wide because they’re kind of small and deep-set and I have a kind of heavy brow, so they tend to be clouded over by moody expressions, but if I wear blue and gaze intently I’ve been told they’re beautiful.

♥ When I was in fourth grade I had a crush on a red-haired girl in my class — yes, exactly like Charlie Brown — whose name I can’t remember now (Melissa, maybe?), and who I never once talked to. I saw her get picked up by a red Jeep once, and when I saw a red Jeep parked out in front of a house down the street I assumed that was her house. I thought about walking by that house a lot, but I never did. This would be a pretty good predictor of the next twenty-four years.

• I tend to be annoyed by questions like “where are you from” — or worse, “where did you grow up” — because I don’t have simple answers to them and I think it’s rude and kind of ignorant to assume that everyone does, or should. I’d lived in eight houses by the time I was eighteen, none of them in the same city consecutively, and I spent my childhood and teenage years in two separate countries. I used to look down on people who grew up in a single house where their parents still live, especially when I was younger — the poverty of their experience! — but I’ve begun to realize that it just means they didn’t grow up (relatively) poor, and have just as much excuse for looking down on someone whose parents didn’t settle on a career or become homeowners until he was an adult himself.

♛ I’m proud of having written long, thoughtful defenses of Ke$ha almost a year before this week’s show of support for her in my local Tumblsphere.

☮ The more I think about it the less certain I am that I have a personality. I write a sentence describing myself, then think of all the ways I contradict it. (Seriously, it’s taken me half an hour just to put down this much.) Shy when I’m uncomfortable (and I’m nearly always uncomfortable), depressed when I’m alone (and I’m nearly always alone), overthinking everything except the things that would make me financially secure, which I mostly leave to chance (UGH WHY HAS THE APOCALYPSE NOT HAPPENED YET I’VE BEEN KEEPING MY ASSETS LIQUID FOREVER). I can’t narrow this down to any one facet because everything’s connected; I’m a seamless whole, even if I don’t feel like the same person from one hour to the next.